Building on a strong foundation

To my kids,

My google search for "strengthening marriage" had 3 separate entries that would take you to lds.org. That is certainly refreshing after my search results for "dating".

I love that I can go to the Church leaders when there is something that I am wondering about or a topic that I'd like to share with you. In my textbook (Successful Marriages and Families) is a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball from 1976, talking about marriage. He said,

While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person.

Also from my textbook here's some advice from Elder Bednar about how focusing on Christ can help a strengthen a marriage.

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Marriage is hard. I think anytime you have two people who have been raised differently, even if it is within the Church, you are going to have two different ideas of how to do things. Of course, that doesn't mean that one way is better than the other, they're just different. You will need to make an effort to find your own way of doing things as a couple.

Marriage takes commitment. You need to be willing to work for what you want and do all you can to make it work. In the text, Elder Bruce C. Hafen says,

When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they're receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent. But covenant companions each give 100 percent. Enough and to spare. Each gives enough to cover any shortfall by the other.

Both spouses are not always strong at the same time. They can't always give 100 percent. When one is feeling depleted, the other spouse steps up to cover the difference. Just keep working together towards your common goal.

Make sure you are building your marriage on a foundation of love and friendship. Make sure you are communicating positively with one another. And, life will get hectic and busy, but never stop dating each other. Take the time to connect with one another, even if it is just a walk around the block. Talk to your spouse and continue to grow together.

Never forget that your dad and I love you!

Duncan, S. F. & Zasukha, S. M. (2012) Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage.  In Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C. & Draper, T. W. (eds.), Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (pp. 27-37). Provo, UT: BYU Studies